i want more

I don’t know why.

Why I was so foolish to have fallen for the fairytale.

I have foolishly fallen in love with a man who cannot love me the way I deserve to be loved.

But what I deserve is so grand, I wonder if any man will ever be able to pull it off.

Not without great confidence… and passion, that’s for sure.

Why aren’t you that man? You told me you could be.

You held that confidence once. But where was the passion?

Where was that passion? Was it ever there? Does it even matter to you?

I don’t know why.

Why I believed you.

That you were “in it to win it”.

But you pictured your future with me. Didn’t you?

Was it as beautiful as I imagined it could be?

I want you to fight for us. I want you to come running with grand gestures. I want you to have passion and love and a determined commitment to the concept of “us” – as best friends, as lovers, as partners, as a whole new entity that moves together.

I want you to kiss me from the bottom of your heart and tell me that you will never leave me. That you will always fight for us. Because you believe in us. That we have something special that transcends any challenge that comes our way. I want you to be my fantasy.

I want you to be the man that sweeps me off my feet. I want you to be the man that I can trust to hold my hand, my heart, and my soul. The man I want to raise children with. I want to let our egos go and just fall into each other’s arms. I want to feel like you never want to let me go.

I want more than what you are willing to give.

I don’t know why.